• Amanda Martin

Co-Dependency and Addiction Support

*When you cannot change the situation, you are forced to change yourself*

Growing up addiction and co-dependency were foreign things to me. I didn't know anyone that was addicted to anything (or so I thought) and although my childhood was not idyllic it was not filled with seeing people drunk or high.

As a teen things started to change as I had a brother that was dabbling into some drugs and another brother as well. There were now words like drunk, pot, cocaine and pills. I heard the words whispered in our home and wondered why my mother at times received collect calls (could it have been jail, I thought).

I grew and left home early (16) and focused on school and work as well as building a little safe home for myself. I focused on myself and carried on, always being pretty straight laced I thought distancing myself from the chaos that was occurring in my family would only better me and quite frankly the world of addiction scared the shit out of me.

I married, had my first child and lived life all tucked in safely in my corner of the world. One night when my daughter was just a year old or so I received a phone call. My mother walked into my older brothers bedroom and he laid lifeless on the bed. An overdose took his life that night and all of a sudden I knew how serious this disease was and how heart-wrenching. Fast forward and as the years progressed I realized addiction had lived in my world far longer than I even realized. To protect members of my family, without stating how they are connected to me, I will simply say that there was a vast number of people that were dear to me that also struggled with addiction. The pieces started to make more sense, coming together as parts of a puzzle sometimes do.

Why am I writing this??

If you are struggling with a family member that has addiction issues, you are not alone. You are NOT ALONE. That said, you have been through traumatic events and situations that you may need support with. Does this mean you need to run out the door and leave right now?? No, in fact my story does not end with the above paragraphs but I will share that in the near future when the time is right. I have done both, leave and also stay-and during both you CAN learn to be at peace within your own life, carry on, be happy and be productive.

There are methods I've learned through education, testing them myself, and through vast experience. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? Yes.

I know what you are going through and we need to talk about it more, need to find the support, need to break the silence because silence breeds more addiction and shame.

A few things I share with you in my program/sessions are detachment, dependency, enabling, responding versus reacting, self-care and learning to become more peaceful. Yes, you can support their recovery at times and love the person in your life that is struggling, but you can also care for yourself and Bloom.

Much Love,




Outer Banks, NC

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